Saturday, February 28, 2009
I received a call from MacLeod's Books this morning. I mentioned I was looking for Arthur Schnitzler about two years ago, and today the book had surfaced.
I had purchased Dream Story previously (the book that Eyes Wide Shut was based on) but I was looking for a story that my Russian Literature Professor had told me over coffee 4 years ago - two strangers mysteriously arrive in a small village and orchestrate the first sexual experiences of two young locals. It was a Schnitzler book, and it had been turned into a Polish film called Pornografia. He described the perfect scene - the boy lays on his back in the loft of a barn, and the girl hovers over him and passes a raspberry from her mouth to his.
La Ronde is a Schnitzler play. Written in 1900 it was initially circulated among friends. When it was performed publicly two decades later it aroused strong reactions. Schnitzler was personally attacked as a Jewish pornographer. The play scrutinizes the sexual morals and class ideology of its day through a series of encounters between pairs of characters (shown before or after a sexual encounter). By choosing characters across all levels of society, the play is also a social comment on how sexual contact overcomes boundaries of class. Both the German Reigen and the French Ronde mean Round dance, like the English nursery rhyme Ring a Ring o' Roses (with the ending: "they all fall down"). This is directly relates to one of the controversial themes of the play - the transmission of syphilis across different layers of society.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Bend the Void, Peaceable Kingdom, & It Looks Like a Smile
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Go Carolina
ANYONE WHO WATCHES EVEN THE SLIGHTEST amount of TV is familiar with the scene: An agent knocks on the door of some seemingly ordinary home or office. The door opens, and the person holding the knob is asked to identify himself. The agent then says, "I'm going to ask you to come with me."
They're always remarkably calm, these agents. If asked "Why do I need to go anywhere with you?" they'll straighten their shirt cuffs or idly brush stray hairs from the sleeves of their sport coats and say, "Oh, I think we both know why."
The suspect then chooses between doing things the hard way and doing things the easy way, and the scene ends with either gunfire or the gentlemanly application of handcuffs. Occasionally it's a case of mistaken identity, but most often the suspect knows exactly why he's being taken. It seems he's been expecting this to happen. The anticipation has ruled his life, and now, finally, the wait is over. You're sometimes led to believe that this person is actually relieved, but I've never bought it. Though it probably has its moments, the average day spent in hiding is bound to beat the average day spent in prison. When it comes time to decide who gets the bottom bunk, I think anyone would agree that there's a lot to be said for doing things the hard way.
The agent came for me during a geography lesson. She entered the room and nodded at my fifth-grade teacher, who stood frowning at a map of Europe. What would needle me later was the realization that this had all been prearranged. My capture had been scheduled to go down at exactly 2:30 on a Thursday afternoon. The agent would be wearing a dung-colored blazer over a red knit turtleneck, her heels sensibly low in case the suspect should attempt a quick getaway.
"David," the teacher said, "this is Miss Samson, and she'd like you to go with her now."
No one else had been called, so why me? I ran down a list of recent crimes, looking for a conviction that might stick. Setting fire to a reportedly flameproof Halloween costume, stealing a set of barbecue tongs from an unguarded patio, altering the word hit on a list of rules posted on the gymnasium door; never did it occur to me that I might be innocent.
"You might want to take your books with you," the teacher said. "And your jacket. You probably won't be back before the bell rings."
Though she seemed old at the time, the agent was most likely fresh out of college. She walked beside me and asked what appeared to be an innocent and unrelated question: "So, which do you like better, State or Carolina?"
She was referring to the athletic rivalry between the Triangle area's two largest universities. Those who cared about such things tended to express their allegiance by wearing either Tar Heel powder blue, or Wolf Pack red, two colors that managed to look good on no one. The question of team preference was common in our part of North Carolina, and the answer supposedly spoke volumes about the kind of person you either were or hoped to become. I had no interest in football or basketball but had learned it was best to pretend otherwise. If a boy didn't care for barbecued chicken or potato chips, people would accept it as a matter of personal taste, saying, "Oh well, I guess it takes all kinds." You could turn up your nose at the president or Coke or even God, but there were names for boys who didn't like sports. When the subject came up, I found it best to ask which team my questioner preferred. Then I'd say, "Really? Me, too!"
Asked by the agent which team I supported, I took my cue from her red turtleneck and told her that I was for State. "Definitely State. State all the way."
It was an answer I would regret for years to come.
"State, did you say?" the agent asked.
"Yes, State. They're the greatest."
"I see." She led me through an unmarked door near the principal's office, into a small, windowless room furnished with two facing desks. It was the kind of room where you'd grill someone until they snapped, the kind frequently painted so as to cover the bloodstains. She gestured toward what was to become my regular seat, then continued her line of questioning.
"And what exactly are they, State and Carolina?"
"Colleges? Universities?"
She opened a file on her desk, saying, "Yes, you're right. Your answers are correct, but you're saying them incorrectly. You're telling me that they're collegeth and univerthitieth, when actually they're collegesand universities. You're giving me a th sound instead of a nice clear s. Can you hear the distinction between the two different sounds?"
I nodded.
"May I please have an actual answer?"
"Uh-huh."
" 'Uh-huh' is not a word."
"Okay."
"Okay what?"
"Okay," I said. "Sure, I can hear it."
"You can hear what, the distinction? The contrast?"
"Yeah, that."
It was the first battle of my war against the letter s, and I was determined to dig my foxhole before the sun went down. According to Agent Samson, a "state certified speech therapist," my s was sibilate, meaning that I lisped. This was not news to me.
"Our goal is to work together until eventually you can speak correctly," Agent Samson said. She made a great show of enunciating her own sparkling s's, and the effect was profoundly irritating. "I'm trying to help you, but the longer you play these little games the longer this is going to take."
The woman spoke with a heavy western North Carolina accent, which I used to discredit her authority. Here was a person for whom the word pen had two syllables. Her people undoubtedly drank from clay jugs and hollered for Paw when the vittles were ready — so who was she to advise me on anything? Over the coming years I would find a crack in each of the therapists sent to train what Miss Samson now defined as my lazy tongue. "That's its problem," she said. "It's just plain lazy."
My sisters Amy and Gretchen were, at the time, undergoing therapy for their lazy eyes, while my older sister, Lisa, had been born with a lazy leg that had refused to grow at the same rate as its twin. She'd worn a corrective brace for the first two years of her life, and wherever she roamed she left a trail of scratch marks in the soft pine floor. I liked the idea that a part of one's body might be thought of as lazy — not thoughtless or hostile, just unwilling to extend itself for the betterment of the team. My father often accused my mother of having a lazy mind, while she in turn accused him of having a lazy index finger, unable to dial the phone when he knew damn well he was going to be late. My therapy sessions were scheduled for every Thursday at 2:30, and with the exception of my mother, I discussed them with no one. The word therapy suggested a profound failure on my part. Mental patients had therapy. Normal people did not. I didn't see my sessions as the sort of thing that one would want to advertise, but as my teacher liked to say, "I guess it takes all kinds." Whereas my goal was to keep it a secret, hers was to inform the entire class. If I got up from my seat at 2:25, she'd say, "Sit back down, David. You've still got five minutes before your speech therapy session." If I remained seated until 2:27, she'd say, "David, don't forget you have a speech therapy session at two-thirty."
On the days I was absent, I imagined she addressed the room, saying, "David's not here today but if he were, he'd have a speech therapy session at two-thirty." My sessions varied from week to week. Sometimes I'd spend the half hour parroting whatever Agent Samson had to say. We'd occasionally pass the time examining charts on tongue position or reading childish s-laden texts recounting the adventures of seals or settlers named Sassy or Samuel. On the worst of days she'd haul out a tape recorder and show me just how much progress I was failing to make.
"My speech therapist's name is Miss Chrissy Samson." She'd hand me the microphone and lean back with her arms crossed. "Go ahead, say it. I want you to hear what you sound like."
She was in love with the sound of her own name and seemed to view my speech impediment as a personal assault. If I wanted to spend the rest of my life as David Thedarith, then so be it. She, however, was going to be called Miss Chrissy Samson. Had her name included no s's, she probably would have bypassed a career in therapy and devoted herself to yanking out healthy molars or performing unwanted clitoridectomies on the schoolgirls of Africa. Such was her personality.
"Oh, come on," my mother would say. "I'm sure she's not that bad. Give her a break. The girl's just trying to do her job."
I was a few minutes early one week and entered the office to find Agent Samson doing her job on Garth Barclay, a slight, kittenish boy I'd met back in the fourth grade. "You may wait outside in the hallway until it is your turn," she told me. A week or two later my session was interrupted by mincing Steve Bixler, who popped his head in the door and announced that his parents were taking him out of town for a long weekend, meaning that he would miss his regular Friday session. "Thorry about that," he said.
I started keeping watch over the speech therapy door, taking note of who came and went. Had I seen one popular student leaving the office, I could have believed my mother and viewed my lisp as the sort of thing that might happen to anyone. Unfortunately, I saw no popular students. Chuck Coggins, Sam Shelton, Louis Delucca: obviously, there was some connection between a sibilate s and a complete lack of interest in the State versus Carolina issue.
None of the therapy students were girls. They were all boys like me who kept movie star scrapbooks and made their own curtains. "You don't want to be doing that," the men in our families would say. "That's a girl thing." Baking scones and cupcakes for the school janitors, watching Guiding Light with our mothers, collecting rose petals for use in a fragrant potpourri: anything worth doing turned out to be a girl thing. In order to enjoy ourselves, we learned to be duplicitous. Our stacks of Cosmopolitan were topped with an unread issue of Boy's Life or Sports Illustrated, and our decoupage projects were concealed beneath the sporting equipment we never asked for but always received. When asked what we wanted to be when we grew up, we hid the truth and listed who we wanted to sleep with when we grew up. "A policeman or a fireman or one of those guys who works with high-tension wires." Symptoms were feigned, and our mothers wrote notes excusing our absences on the day of the intramural softball tournament. Brian had a stomach virus or Ted suffered from that twenty-four-hour bug that seemed to be going around.
"One of these days I'm going to have to hang a sign on that door," Agent Samson used to say. She was probably thinking along the lines of SPEECH THERAPY LAB, though a more appropriate marker would have read FUTURE HOMOSEXUALS OF AMERICA. We knocked ourselves out trying to fit in but were ultimately betrayed by our tongues. At the beginning of the school year, while we were congratulating ourselves on successfully passing for normal, Agent Samson was taking names as our assembled teachers raised their hands, saying, "I've got one in my homeroom," and "There are two in my fourth-period math class." Were they also able to spot the future drunks and depressives? Did they hope that by eliminating our lisps, they might set us on a different path, or were they trying to prepare us for future stage and choral careers?
Miss Samson instructed me, when forming an s, to position the tip of my tongue against the rear of my top teeth, right up against the gum line. The effect produced a sound not unlike that of a tire releasing air. It was awkward and strange-sounding, and elicited much more attention than the original lisp. I failed to see the hissy s as a solution to the problem and continued to talk normally, at least at home, where my lazy tongue fell upon equally lazy ears. At school, where every teacher was a potential spy, I tried to avoid an s sound whenever possible. "Yes," became "correct," or a military "affirmative." "Please," became "with your kind permission," and questions were pleaded rather than asked. After a few weeks of what she called "endless pestering" and what I called "repeated badgering," my mother bought me a pocket thesaurus, which provided me with s-free alternatives to just about everything. I consulted the book both at home in my room and at the daily learning academy other people called our school. Agent Samson was not amused when I began referring to her as an articulation coach, but the majority of my teachers were delighted. "What a nice vocabulary," they said. "My goodness, such big words!"
Plurals presented a considerable problem, but I worked around them as best I could; "rivers," for example, became either "a river or two" or "many a river." Possessives were a similar headache, and it was easier to say nothing than to announce that the left-hand and the right-hand glove of Janet had fallen to the floor. After all the compliments I had received on my improved vocabulary, it seemed prudent to lie low and keep my mouth shut. I didn't want anyone thinking I was trying to be a pet of the teacher.
When I first began my speech therapy, I worried that the Agent Samson plan might work for everyone but me, that the other boys might strengthen their lazy tongues, turn their lives around, and leave me stranded. Luckily my fears were never realized. Despite the woman's best efforts, no one seemed to make any significant improvement. The only difference was that we were all a little quieter. Thanks to Agent Samson's tape recorder, I, along with the others, now had a clear sense of what I actually sounded like. There was the lisp, of course, but more troubling was my voice itself, with its excitable tone and high, girlish pitch. I'd hear myself ordering lunch in the cafeteria, and the sound would turn my stomach. How could anyone stand to listen to me? Whereas those around me might grow up to be lawyers or movie stars, my only option was to take a vow of silence and become a monk. My former classmates would call the abbey, wondering how I was doing, and the priest would answer the phone. "You can't talk to him!" he'd say. "Why, Brother David hasn't spoken to anyone in thirty-five years!"
"Oh, relax," my mother said. "Your voice will change eventually."
"And what if it doesn't?" She shuddered.
"Don't be so morbid."
It turned out that Agent Samson was something along the lines of a circuit-court speech therapist. She spent four months at our school and then moved on to another. Our last meeting was held the day before school let out for Christmas. My classrooms were all decorated, the halls — everything but her office, which remained as bare as ever. I was expecting a regular half hour of Sassy the seal and was delighted to find her packing up her tape recorder.
"I thought that this afternoon we might let loose and have a party, you and I. How does that sound?" She reached into her desk drawer and withdrew a festive tin of cookies.
"Here, have one. I made them myself from scratch and, boy, was it a mess! Do you ever make cookies?"
I lied, saying that no, I never had. "Well, it's hard work," she said. "Especially if you don't have a mixer."
It was unlike Agent Samson to speak so casually, and awkward to sit in the hot little room, pretending to have a normal conversation.
"So," she said, "what are your plans for the holidays?"
"Well, I usually remain here and, you know, open a gift from my family."
"Only one?" she asked.
"Maybe eight or ten."
"Never six or seven?"
"Rarely," I said.
"And what do you do on December thirty-first, New Year's Eve?"
"On the final day of the year we take down the pine tree in our living room and eat marine life."
"You're pretty good at avoiding those s's," she said. "I have to hand it to you, you're tougher than most."
I thought she would continue trying to trip me up, but instead she talked about her own holiday plans. "It's pretty hard with my fiancé in Vietnam," she said. "Last year we went up to see his folks in Roanoke, but this year I'll spend Christmas with my grandmother outside of Asheville. My parents will come, and we'll all try our best to have a good time. I'll eat some turkey and go to church, and then, the next day, a friend and I will drive down to Jacksonville to watch Florida play Tennessee in the Gator Bowl."
I couldn't imagine anything worse than driving down to Florida to watch a football game, but I pretended to be impressed. "Wow, that ought to be eventful."
"I was in Memphis last year when NC State whooped Georgia fourteen to seven in the Liberty Bowl," she said. "And next year, I don't care who's playing, but I want to be sitting front-row center at the Tangerine Bowl. Have you ever been to Orlando? It's a super fun place. If my future husband can find a job in his field, we're hoping to move down there within a year or two. Me living in Florida. I bet that would make you happy, wouldn't it?"
I didn't quite know how to respond. Who was this college bowl fanatic with no mixer and a fiancé in Vietnam, and why had she taken so long to reveal herself? Here I'd thought of her as a cold-blooded agent when she was really nothing but a slightly dopey, inexperienced speech teacher. She wasn't a bad person, Miss Samson, but her timing was off. She should have acted friendly at the beginning of the year instead of waiting until now, when all I could do was feel sorry for her.
"I tried my best to work with you and the others, but sometimes a person's best just isn't good enough." She took another cookie and turned it over in her hands. "I really wanted to prove myself and make a difference in people's lives, but it's hard to do your job when you're met with so much resistance. My students don't like me, and I guess that's just the way it is. What can I say? As a speech teacher, I'm a complete failure."
She moved her hands toward her face, and I worried that she might start to cry. "Hey, look," I said. "I'm thorry."
"Ha-ha," she said. "I got you." She laughed much more than she needed to and was still at it when she signed the form recommending me for the following year's speech therapy program.
"Thorry, indeed. You've got some work ahead of you, mister."
I related the story to my mother, who got a huge kick out of it. "You've got to admit that you really are a sucker," she said.
I agreed but, because none of my speech classes ever made a difference, I still prefer to use the word chump.
- Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
They're always remarkably calm, these agents. If asked "Why do I need to go anywhere with you?" they'll straighten their shirt cuffs or idly brush stray hairs from the sleeves of their sport coats and say, "Oh, I think we both know why."
The suspect then chooses between doing things the hard way and doing things the easy way, and the scene ends with either gunfire or the gentlemanly application of handcuffs. Occasionally it's a case of mistaken identity, but most often the suspect knows exactly why he's being taken. It seems he's been expecting this to happen. The anticipation has ruled his life, and now, finally, the wait is over. You're sometimes led to believe that this person is actually relieved, but I've never bought it. Though it probably has its moments, the average day spent in hiding is bound to beat the average day spent in prison. When it comes time to decide who gets the bottom bunk, I think anyone would agree that there's a lot to be said for doing things the hard way.
The agent came for me during a geography lesson. She entered the room and nodded at my fifth-grade teacher, who stood frowning at a map of Europe. What would needle me later was the realization that this had all been prearranged. My capture had been scheduled to go down at exactly 2:30 on a Thursday afternoon. The agent would be wearing a dung-colored blazer over a red knit turtleneck, her heels sensibly low in case the suspect should attempt a quick getaway.
"David," the teacher said, "this is Miss Samson, and she'd like you to go with her now."
No one else had been called, so why me? I ran down a list of recent crimes, looking for a conviction that might stick. Setting fire to a reportedly flameproof Halloween costume, stealing a set of barbecue tongs from an unguarded patio, altering the word hit on a list of rules posted on the gymnasium door; never did it occur to me that I might be innocent.
"You might want to take your books with you," the teacher said. "And your jacket. You probably won't be back before the bell rings."
Though she seemed old at the time, the agent was most likely fresh out of college. She walked beside me and asked what appeared to be an innocent and unrelated question: "So, which do you like better, State or Carolina?"
She was referring to the athletic rivalry between the Triangle area's two largest universities. Those who cared about such things tended to express their allegiance by wearing either Tar Heel powder blue, or Wolf Pack red, two colors that managed to look good on no one. The question of team preference was common in our part of North Carolina, and the answer supposedly spoke volumes about the kind of person you either were or hoped to become. I had no interest in football or basketball but had learned it was best to pretend otherwise. If a boy didn't care for barbecued chicken or potato chips, people would accept it as a matter of personal taste, saying, "Oh well, I guess it takes all kinds." You could turn up your nose at the president or Coke or even God, but there were names for boys who didn't like sports. When the subject came up, I found it best to ask which team my questioner preferred. Then I'd say, "Really? Me, too!"
Asked by the agent which team I supported, I took my cue from her red turtleneck and told her that I was for State. "Definitely State. State all the way."
It was an answer I would regret for years to come.
"State, did you say?" the agent asked.
"Yes, State. They're the greatest."
"I see." She led me through an unmarked door near the principal's office, into a small, windowless room furnished with two facing desks. It was the kind of room where you'd grill someone until they snapped, the kind frequently painted so as to cover the bloodstains. She gestured toward what was to become my regular seat, then continued her line of questioning.
"And what exactly are they, State and Carolina?"
"Colleges? Universities?"
She opened a file on her desk, saying, "Yes, you're right. Your answers are correct, but you're saying them incorrectly. You're telling me that they're collegeth and univerthitieth, when actually they're collegesand universities. You're giving me a th sound instead of a nice clear s. Can you hear the distinction between the two different sounds?"
I nodded.
"May I please have an actual answer?"
"Uh-huh."
" 'Uh-huh' is not a word."
"Okay."
"Okay what?"
"Okay," I said. "Sure, I can hear it."
"You can hear what, the distinction? The contrast?"
"Yeah, that."
It was the first battle of my war against the letter s, and I was determined to dig my foxhole before the sun went down. According to Agent Samson, a "state certified speech therapist," my s was sibilate, meaning that I lisped. This was not news to me.
"Our goal is to work together until eventually you can speak correctly," Agent Samson said. She made a great show of enunciating her own sparkling s's, and the effect was profoundly irritating. "I'm trying to help you, but the longer you play these little games the longer this is going to take."
The woman spoke with a heavy western North Carolina accent, which I used to discredit her authority. Here was a person for whom the word pen had two syllables. Her people undoubtedly drank from clay jugs and hollered for Paw when the vittles were ready — so who was she to advise me on anything? Over the coming years I would find a crack in each of the therapists sent to train what Miss Samson now defined as my lazy tongue. "That's its problem," she said. "It's just plain lazy."
My sisters Amy and Gretchen were, at the time, undergoing therapy for their lazy eyes, while my older sister, Lisa, had been born with a lazy leg that had refused to grow at the same rate as its twin. She'd worn a corrective brace for the first two years of her life, and wherever she roamed she left a trail of scratch marks in the soft pine floor. I liked the idea that a part of one's body might be thought of as lazy — not thoughtless or hostile, just unwilling to extend itself for the betterment of the team. My father often accused my mother of having a lazy mind, while she in turn accused him of having a lazy index finger, unable to dial the phone when he knew damn well he was going to be late. My therapy sessions were scheduled for every Thursday at 2:30, and with the exception of my mother, I discussed them with no one. The word therapy suggested a profound failure on my part. Mental patients had therapy. Normal people did not. I didn't see my sessions as the sort of thing that one would want to advertise, but as my teacher liked to say, "I guess it takes all kinds." Whereas my goal was to keep it a secret, hers was to inform the entire class. If I got up from my seat at 2:25, she'd say, "Sit back down, David. You've still got five minutes before your speech therapy session." If I remained seated until 2:27, she'd say, "David, don't forget you have a speech therapy session at two-thirty."
On the days I was absent, I imagined she addressed the room, saying, "David's not here today but if he were, he'd have a speech therapy session at two-thirty." My sessions varied from week to week. Sometimes I'd spend the half hour parroting whatever Agent Samson had to say. We'd occasionally pass the time examining charts on tongue position or reading childish s-laden texts recounting the adventures of seals or settlers named Sassy or Samuel. On the worst of days she'd haul out a tape recorder and show me just how much progress I was failing to make.
"My speech therapist's name is Miss Chrissy Samson." She'd hand me the microphone and lean back with her arms crossed. "Go ahead, say it. I want you to hear what you sound like."
She was in love with the sound of her own name and seemed to view my speech impediment as a personal assault. If I wanted to spend the rest of my life as David Thedarith, then so be it. She, however, was going to be called Miss Chrissy Samson. Had her name included no s's, she probably would have bypassed a career in therapy and devoted herself to yanking out healthy molars or performing unwanted clitoridectomies on the schoolgirls of Africa. Such was her personality.
"Oh, come on," my mother would say. "I'm sure she's not that bad. Give her a break. The girl's just trying to do her job."
I was a few minutes early one week and entered the office to find Agent Samson doing her job on Garth Barclay, a slight, kittenish boy I'd met back in the fourth grade. "You may wait outside in the hallway until it is your turn," she told me. A week or two later my session was interrupted by mincing Steve Bixler, who popped his head in the door and announced that his parents were taking him out of town for a long weekend, meaning that he would miss his regular Friday session. "Thorry about that," he said.
I started keeping watch over the speech therapy door, taking note of who came and went. Had I seen one popular student leaving the office, I could have believed my mother and viewed my lisp as the sort of thing that might happen to anyone. Unfortunately, I saw no popular students. Chuck Coggins, Sam Shelton, Louis Delucca: obviously, there was some connection between a sibilate s and a complete lack of interest in the State versus Carolina issue.
None of the therapy students were girls. They were all boys like me who kept movie star scrapbooks and made their own curtains. "You don't want to be doing that," the men in our families would say. "That's a girl thing." Baking scones and cupcakes for the school janitors, watching Guiding Light with our mothers, collecting rose petals for use in a fragrant potpourri: anything worth doing turned out to be a girl thing. In order to enjoy ourselves, we learned to be duplicitous. Our stacks of Cosmopolitan were topped with an unread issue of Boy's Life or Sports Illustrated, and our decoupage projects were concealed beneath the sporting equipment we never asked for but always received. When asked what we wanted to be when we grew up, we hid the truth and listed who we wanted to sleep with when we grew up. "A policeman or a fireman or one of those guys who works with high-tension wires." Symptoms were feigned, and our mothers wrote notes excusing our absences on the day of the intramural softball tournament. Brian had a stomach virus or Ted suffered from that twenty-four-hour bug that seemed to be going around.
"One of these days I'm going to have to hang a sign on that door," Agent Samson used to say. She was probably thinking along the lines of SPEECH THERAPY LAB, though a more appropriate marker would have read FUTURE HOMOSEXUALS OF AMERICA. We knocked ourselves out trying to fit in but were ultimately betrayed by our tongues. At the beginning of the school year, while we were congratulating ourselves on successfully passing for normal, Agent Samson was taking names as our assembled teachers raised their hands, saying, "I've got one in my homeroom," and "There are two in my fourth-period math class." Were they also able to spot the future drunks and depressives? Did they hope that by eliminating our lisps, they might set us on a different path, or were they trying to prepare us for future stage and choral careers?
Miss Samson instructed me, when forming an s, to position the tip of my tongue against the rear of my top teeth, right up against the gum line. The effect produced a sound not unlike that of a tire releasing air. It was awkward and strange-sounding, and elicited much more attention than the original lisp. I failed to see the hissy s as a solution to the problem and continued to talk normally, at least at home, where my lazy tongue fell upon equally lazy ears. At school, where every teacher was a potential spy, I tried to avoid an s sound whenever possible. "Yes," became "correct," or a military "affirmative." "Please," became "with your kind permission," and questions were pleaded rather than asked. After a few weeks of what she called "endless pestering" and what I called "repeated badgering," my mother bought me a pocket thesaurus, which provided me with s-free alternatives to just about everything. I consulted the book both at home in my room and at the daily learning academy other people called our school. Agent Samson was not amused when I began referring to her as an articulation coach, but the majority of my teachers were delighted. "What a nice vocabulary," they said. "My goodness, such big words!"
Plurals presented a considerable problem, but I worked around them as best I could; "rivers," for example, became either "a river or two" or "many a river." Possessives were a similar headache, and it was easier to say nothing than to announce that the left-hand and the right-hand glove of Janet had fallen to the floor. After all the compliments I had received on my improved vocabulary, it seemed prudent to lie low and keep my mouth shut. I didn't want anyone thinking I was trying to be a pet of the teacher.
When I first began my speech therapy, I worried that the Agent Samson plan might work for everyone but me, that the other boys might strengthen their lazy tongues, turn their lives around, and leave me stranded. Luckily my fears were never realized. Despite the woman's best efforts, no one seemed to make any significant improvement. The only difference was that we were all a little quieter. Thanks to Agent Samson's tape recorder, I, along with the others, now had a clear sense of what I actually sounded like. There was the lisp, of course, but more troubling was my voice itself, with its excitable tone and high, girlish pitch. I'd hear myself ordering lunch in the cafeteria, and the sound would turn my stomach. How could anyone stand to listen to me? Whereas those around me might grow up to be lawyers or movie stars, my only option was to take a vow of silence and become a monk. My former classmates would call the abbey, wondering how I was doing, and the priest would answer the phone. "You can't talk to him!" he'd say. "Why, Brother David hasn't spoken to anyone in thirty-five years!"
"Oh, relax," my mother said. "Your voice will change eventually."
"And what if it doesn't?" She shuddered.
"Don't be so morbid."
It turned out that Agent Samson was something along the lines of a circuit-court speech therapist. She spent four months at our school and then moved on to another. Our last meeting was held the day before school let out for Christmas. My classrooms were all decorated, the halls — everything but her office, which remained as bare as ever. I was expecting a regular half hour of Sassy the seal and was delighted to find her packing up her tape recorder.
"I thought that this afternoon we might let loose and have a party, you and I. How does that sound?" She reached into her desk drawer and withdrew a festive tin of cookies.
"Here, have one. I made them myself from scratch and, boy, was it a mess! Do you ever make cookies?"
I lied, saying that no, I never had. "Well, it's hard work," she said. "Especially if you don't have a mixer."
It was unlike Agent Samson to speak so casually, and awkward to sit in the hot little room, pretending to have a normal conversation.
"So," she said, "what are your plans for the holidays?"
"Well, I usually remain here and, you know, open a gift from my family."
"Only one?" she asked.
"Maybe eight or ten."
"Never six or seven?"
"Rarely," I said.
"And what do you do on December thirty-first, New Year's Eve?"
"On the final day of the year we take down the pine tree in our living room and eat marine life."
"You're pretty good at avoiding those s's," she said. "I have to hand it to you, you're tougher than most."
I thought she would continue trying to trip me up, but instead she talked about her own holiday plans. "It's pretty hard with my fiancé in Vietnam," she said. "Last year we went up to see his folks in Roanoke, but this year I'll spend Christmas with my grandmother outside of Asheville. My parents will come, and we'll all try our best to have a good time. I'll eat some turkey and go to church, and then, the next day, a friend and I will drive down to Jacksonville to watch Florida play Tennessee in the Gator Bowl."
I couldn't imagine anything worse than driving down to Florida to watch a football game, but I pretended to be impressed. "Wow, that ought to be eventful."
"I was in Memphis last year when NC State whooped Georgia fourteen to seven in the Liberty Bowl," she said. "And next year, I don't care who's playing, but I want to be sitting front-row center at the Tangerine Bowl. Have you ever been to Orlando? It's a super fun place. If my future husband can find a job in his field, we're hoping to move down there within a year or two. Me living in Florida. I bet that would make you happy, wouldn't it?"
I didn't quite know how to respond. Who was this college bowl fanatic with no mixer and a fiancé in Vietnam, and why had she taken so long to reveal herself? Here I'd thought of her as a cold-blooded agent when she was really nothing but a slightly dopey, inexperienced speech teacher. She wasn't a bad person, Miss Samson, but her timing was off. She should have acted friendly at the beginning of the year instead of waiting until now, when all I could do was feel sorry for her.
"I tried my best to work with you and the others, but sometimes a person's best just isn't good enough." She took another cookie and turned it over in her hands. "I really wanted to prove myself and make a difference in people's lives, but it's hard to do your job when you're met with so much resistance. My students don't like me, and I guess that's just the way it is. What can I say? As a speech teacher, I'm a complete failure."
She moved her hands toward her face, and I worried that she might start to cry. "Hey, look," I said. "I'm thorry."
"Ha-ha," she said. "I got you." She laughed much more than she needed to and was still at it when she signed the form recommending me for the following year's speech therapy program.
"Thorry, indeed. You've got some work ahead of you, mister."
I related the story to my mother, who got a huge kick out of it. "You've got to admit that you really are a sucker," she said.
I agreed but, because none of my speech classes ever made a difference, I still prefer to use the word chump.
- Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Stasys Eidrigevicius













Stasys Eidrigevicius - Born 1949 in Mediniskiai, Lithuania. Graduate of College of Fine Arts and Crafts in Kaunas, 1968. In 1973 obtained diploma of Vilnius Academy of Fine Arts. Active in many artistic fields such as: oil painting; book-plate; book-illustration; studio graphic. In the field of poster worked from 1984.
Major awards: Gold Plaque for children's book illustration at Biennial of Book Art in Brno, Czechoslovakia (1979); Gold Medal at International Biennial of Exlibris in Malbork (1980); Honorary Mention at Exhibition of Small Graphic Forms in Lodz, Poland (1979); Grand Prix for book illustration in Barcelona, Spain (1986); Grand Prix at International Biennial of Posters in Lahti, Finland (1989); 3rd Prize at International Biennial of Posters in Warsaw (1990), Gold Medal, Toyama, Japan (1994), 1st Prize at Biennial of Polish Poster, Katowice (1999), National Award in Arts, Lithuania (2001).
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
The Enchantment of Lily Dahl

THE ENCHANTMENT OF LILY DAHL Siri Hustvedt
Lily Dahl is a small-town waitress who dreams of launching an acting career in New York City. Her complacency is disturbed when a cafe customer begins quietly menacing her and she hears of an inert -- possibly dead -- Lily look-alike being spotted around town. The indomitable Lily unravels the mystery but first becomes entangled in the private obsessions of the variously warped townspeople and falls in love with an artist who paints them.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Interview with Siri Hustvedt
Siri Hustvedt was born and raised in Minnesota, and her work has been published in The Paris Review and Fiction, The Best American Short Stories 1990 and 1991. She is also the author of a book of poetry and three novels, The Blind Fold, The Enchantment of Lily Dahl and most recently, What I Loved. Siri Hustvedt lives in Brooklyn, NY with her husband and teenage daughter and is more or less working on her next novel.
What I Loved is the story, as narrated by art historian Leo Herzberg, of two men—Leo and his close friend artist Bill Wechsler—over a twenty-five-year span in the hothouse of the New York art world. Their marriages, their wives, their children's fates, the tragedies they face are vividly and poignantly presented against a parade of ideas and themes on social interaction, eroticism, hysteria and personal identity. At the root of this novel is Hustvedt's oft-stated fascination with "why do we become who we are?"
Robert Birnbaum: I've not read reviews of What I Loved, how do reviewers deal with the one "sudden and incapacitating tragedy" that occurs in this novel?
Siri Hustvedt: Most people have been very moved by that section of the book.
RB: Do they reveal what that tragedy is?
SH: Some have. You know, this book has been reviewed all over the place. So I don't remember everything. It came out in England, in France and Germany. Some reviewers have revealed the story—I always wish that they wouldn't. Many people have been very moved by the book—that moment where everything changes.
RB: I felt like I was punched in the face. It opens the second part of the book?
SH: Yes, it's the beginning of the second part.
RB: I considered whether there should be a parental warning sticker on the book.
SH: Actually, there were some at the American publisher, Henry Holt, who said the book should have a warning on the outside. Because many people have cried as well. I know in England that people came up to me and told me where they were when they cried. And that had a strange effect on me because I think it's the only time in one's life that you are happy that people cried.
RB: You conveyed what you meant to…
SH: …to convey, yeah.
RB: How was it to write this book?
SH: I have to say that I found that part of the book almost unbearable to write. And you have to imagine it very fully, and when you do imagine something so sad and nonsensical very fully, you suffer. It was hard for me to rewrite that section of that book. It was actually hard for me to go back and look at it.
RB: I remember a few years ago starting to read Stephen Dixon's Interstate, which I couldn't get very far into, and then I did read John Burnham Schwartz's book, Reservation Road—I don't know how. Do you know those books?
SH: I know both. The Schwartz book I've read.
RB: I wonder if there is a bibliography of books that deal with this subject?
SH: Well, it probably goes way back. When you think about loss, it is part of life, and I think it is certainly part of literature as well. I think nevertheless, there are different ways of treating the material. And for me it was very important that when the reader finished the book he or she not be depressed. I don't find it a truly depressing book. The reason is that the narrator, Leo Hertzberg, holds on to the ability to love people, despite what happens to him. Actually, speaking of reviewers, someone in the Washington Post Book World said that at the end of the book the sadness felt like almost a kind of triumph for it, that it was liberating. That's what I wanted.
RB: That would be a mature view. That is, it requires some experience. I wonder what younger readers would think.
SH: I know in England that people came up to me and told me where they were when they cried. And that had a strange effect on me because I think it's the only time in one's life that you are happy that people cried.
What I Loved is the story, as narrated by art historian Leo Herzberg, of two men—Leo and his close friend artist Bill Wechsler—over a twenty-five-year span in the hothouse of the New York art world. Their marriages, their wives, their children's fates, the tragedies they face are vividly and poignantly presented against a parade of ideas and themes on social interaction, eroticism, hysteria and personal identity. At the root of this novel is Hustvedt's oft-stated fascination with "why do we become who we are?"
Robert Birnbaum: I've not read reviews of What I Loved, how do reviewers deal with the one "sudden and incapacitating tragedy" that occurs in this novel?
Siri Hustvedt: Most people have been very moved by that section of the book.
RB: Do they reveal what that tragedy is?
SH: Some have. You know, this book has been reviewed all over the place. So I don't remember everything. It came out in England, in France and Germany. Some reviewers have revealed the story—I always wish that they wouldn't. Many people have been very moved by the book—that moment where everything changes.
RB: I felt like I was punched in the face. It opens the second part of the book?
SH: Yes, it's the beginning of the second part.
RB: I considered whether there should be a parental warning sticker on the book.
SH: Actually, there were some at the American publisher, Henry Holt, who said the book should have a warning on the outside. Because many people have cried as well. I know in England that people came up to me and told me where they were when they cried. And that had a strange effect on me because I think it's the only time in one's life that you are happy that people cried.
RB: You conveyed what you meant to…
SH: …to convey, yeah.
RB: How was it to write this book?
SH: I have to say that I found that part of the book almost unbearable to write. And you have to imagine it very fully, and when you do imagine something so sad and nonsensical very fully, you suffer. It was hard for me to rewrite that section of that book. It was actually hard for me to go back and look at it.
RB: I remember a few years ago starting to read Stephen Dixon's Interstate, which I couldn't get very far into, and then I did read John Burnham Schwartz's book, Reservation Road—I don't know how. Do you know those books?
SH: I know both. The Schwartz book I've read.
RB: I wonder if there is a bibliography of books that deal with this subject?
SH: Well, it probably goes way back. When you think about loss, it is part of life, and I think it is certainly part of literature as well. I think nevertheless, there are different ways of treating the material. And for me it was very important that when the reader finished the book he or she not be depressed. I don't find it a truly depressing book. The reason is that the narrator, Leo Hertzberg, holds on to the ability to love people, despite what happens to him. Actually, speaking of reviewers, someone in the Washington Post Book World said that at the end of the book the sadness felt like almost a kind of triumph for it, that it was liberating. That's what I wanted.
RB: That would be a mature view. That is, it requires some experience. I wonder what younger readers would think.
SH: I know in England that people came up to me and told me where they were when they cried. And that had a strange effect on me because I think it's the only time in one's life that you are happy that people cried.
SH: I've often thought that it would have been impossible for me to write this book as a young person. My first two books are in a way initiation books about very young women. I believe a certain maturity was necessary to write it. I am not sure that maturity is necessary to read it. I can think of one notable example of a very young girl in France who came up to me after a reading and said she didn't have children, she was nineteen years old and she loved the book, it meant a lot to her. She said she almost wondered, why (laughs). I suppose it depends on who you are.
RB: I am thinking about your book in the context of the books one was required to read as a high school and early college student. Those classics that, for me, meant very little against my own life experiences.
SH: I was somewhat different, in that way. I had great reading experiences as a very young person. At eleven, my mother gave me Emily Dickinson's poems and [William] Blake and I loved those poems. I didn't understand what the poets were saying, certainly not in every line. And there were some poems I didn't understand at all. But I read the poems over and over and over to myself, and I had an experience of awe. I loved those poems. And then when I was thirteen, again my mother—who was a very big reader and a big reader of English novels—gave me David Copperfield, Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre. At the same time I read lesser works like Hawaii by James Michener and Gone with the Wind. But those books had a huge effect on me. I ended up writing my dissertation on Charles Dickens.
RB: So I guess you didn't watch much television?
SH: We had rationed television in my house.
RB: You grew up in the Midwest?
SH: In Minnesota.
RB: That's called the Midwest?
SH: It certainly is. It's the upper Midwest, exactly.
RB: So you studied literature?
SH: Yup. I got a Ph.D. at Columbia in 1986.
RB: When did you think you wanted to be a writer?
SH: I wanted to be a writer when I was fourteen. It was after I had been reading those English novels that I—I actually announced it in the local newspaper. You have to understand that I grew up in a town of ten thousand people. And there was a little column in the paper called "Teen of the Week". It was sponsored by a local clothing store and there was a big picture of me and they did an interview and I announced, not that I was going to be a writer but very pretentiously, that I was going to be an author (laughs). Very silly. I did have that ambition. And I wrote poems constantly all through high school.
RB: To fulfill that ambition what did you do?
SH: Well, I wrote. I didn't publish anything until I was twenty three. By that time I was in graduate school in New York. And I had an amazing bit of early good luck. The first poem I ever sent out anywhere was to the Paris Review and they took it.
RB: Wow!
SH: But then I had rejections after that. It was the first time I thought to myself, "This is good. This is something I am proud of." And I am still proud of that poem. It was the right thing to do, but I held off for years for years of writing really abysmal poetry (laughs).
RB: Do you still write poetry?
SH: No, but what happened to me was during the course of writing this book of poetry I got stuck. One of the reasons I got stuck was I read a lot of poetry and it was so great. And when I wrote something on the page it just seemed bad. And so I got constipated and I had a friend who was a teacher and a poet, David Shapiro, who taught at Columbia then. And I asked him, "David, I don't know what to do, I can't squeak out anything." And he said, "When I have that problem I do automatic writing like the Surrealists. It doesn't matter what you say, just sit down and let it roll." And I did that and I wrote thirty pages in a single night. And then I spent the next three months editing those pages down to ten, and that was the first prose work I had ever done. It was a prose poem. It was not a real narrative. But there were narrative elements to it. And I never wrote anything in line after that.
RB: I read in a Publisher's Weekly Q and A that after your second novel you intended to write your next book with a male protagonist.
SH: I did.
RB: A curious choice of a character, a son of—do we consider Leo's parents Holocaust survivors?
SH: Well, I don't call them survivors. I think of people who were actually in the camps. His parents fled the Nazis. And that's how I think of that family. But he lost his grandmother and uncle and aunt and twin cousins. They all died in Auschwitz in the book.
RB: You have chosen an elderly…
SH: Jewish guy…
RB: Who is an art historian. I don't want to fall into the cliched line where I say, "You are a young woman, why are you writing as an elderly Jewish art historian?" But nonetheless you made some choices here. What was the starting point? The story, the character?
SH: This book has a very peculiar beginning. And a lot of my work does start in a very irrational way. I knew I was going to write it as a man. That was a technical difficulty that I decided on very consciously. What I didn't know was what the story was going to be about. I had this insistent mental image in my mind of a very fat lady lying on a bed in a room dead, a corpse. I don't know why or what this corpse was, but it kept coming back to me. I originally thought that perhaps my male narrator would open a door and find her and that would begin the story. But that took me nowhere (laughs).
RB: That doesn't show up in this book at all.
SH: Yes it does. In the painting. In the growing and shrinking of those initial paintings. That's how I ended up using her. But I honestly think that the themes of starving and eating and some of the themes of grief were initiated by that first image. So it started in a very irrational way and I'm not, of course, an entirely irrational writer, and I don't mean to propose that. At the same time it developed very slowly over the course of six years. A lot of the thematic material, the repetitive thematic material comes from places I am not entirely aware of. And then I realized when I was editing the book, finally, that the way I edited the book was when there were sections that did not reverberate or mirror other parts of the book I cut them. So it does function almost like an echo chamber.
RB: Some writers who don't live in New York will talk about how they think there is an inclination in the publishing world that leans toward a certain kind of book and they call it a New York book.
SH: Um huh.
RB: Most of this book takes place in Manhattan, in the art and academic world. What could be more New York? Do you see this as a New York book?
SH: Yeah, it is a New York book. And the setting is New York. The time period corresponds almost exactly to the time I have lived in New York. I arrived in New York in 1978 and this story begins in '75. So I fudged a few years of not actually having experienced that time. But the rest corresponds to my life in New York. When I took it on I wanted to address that subculture but also the culture at large in some way. Earlier you asked about Leo being this old Jew. I didn't want to have someone who was born in New York, and I wanted to have someone born outside the country because he does have the position of an observer in the book. He is a kind of exile, Leo. That was very important to the tone of the narration.
RB: He is not a religious Jew.
SH: He is a completely secular Jew and it is explained early on that his parents were also assimilated secular Jews…
RB: Who didn't want to leave Germany…
SH: Well, his uncle doesn't leave. I read a lot about those families and it's funny how you enter that world. I also have a Norwegian mother who lived through the Nazi occupation in Norway. I have always felt fairly close to a European sensibility because of that.
RB: That was something of a digression because I was thinking about the New York book issue because it is occasionally offered as a complaint that the publishing world is stacked against non-New York writers—that editors and reviewers are more disposed to look with interest on this kind of a story because it is one that they have some knowledge of.
SH: Well, it's possible. I have had both experiences. My second novel was The Enchantment of Lily Dahl, which was about a young woman in a tiny town. A fictional version of my hometown in Minnesota. That book got a lot of attention in the Midwest because it was a book set in a world that people knew there and I think maybe less attention in New York because it seemed provincial. Though I have to say that for me that book was a kind of psychic map. It certainly used the Midwest and used that tiny town, but it was not a local color story. The other thing is this is my third novel. I've been around a little bit now. You think about, for example, Southern writers, how important they have been to American literature. A lot of those books have been set in very specific small places, I am not sure it's true.
RB: It seems to me that Southern writers are still ghettoized and that only recently being called a Southern writer outside the South is not a term of disrespect. Other than William Faulkner…
… one of the great parts of being an American writer is that so much is going on here. It is exciting to the rest of the world too. When I am in Europe people are quite excited about American fiction and there is a sense that American writers are doing all kinds of different things—which they are.
RB: I am thinking about your book in the context of the books one was required to read as a high school and early college student. Those classics that, for me, meant very little against my own life experiences.
SH: I was somewhat different, in that way. I had great reading experiences as a very young person. At eleven, my mother gave me Emily Dickinson's poems and [William] Blake and I loved those poems. I didn't understand what the poets were saying, certainly not in every line. And there were some poems I didn't understand at all. But I read the poems over and over and over to myself, and I had an experience of awe. I loved those poems. And then when I was thirteen, again my mother—who was a very big reader and a big reader of English novels—gave me David Copperfield, Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre. At the same time I read lesser works like Hawaii by James Michener and Gone with the Wind. But those books had a huge effect on me. I ended up writing my dissertation on Charles Dickens.
RB: So I guess you didn't watch much television?
SH: We had rationed television in my house.
RB: You grew up in the Midwest?
SH: In Minnesota.
RB: That's called the Midwest?
SH: It certainly is. It's the upper Midwest, exactly.
RB: So you studied literature?
SH: Yup. I got a Ph.D. at Columbia in 1986.
RB: When did you think you wanted to be a writer?
SH: I wanted to be a writer when I was fourteen. It was after I had been reading those English novels that I—I actually announced it in the local newspaper. You have to understand that I grew up in a town of ten thousand people. And there was a little column in the paper called "Teen of the Week". It was sponsored by a local clothing store and there was a big picture of me and they did an interview and I announced, not that I was going to be a writer but very pretentiously, that I was going to be an author (laughs). Very silly. I did have that ambition. And I wrote poems constantly all through high school.
RB: To fulfill that ambition what did you do?
SH: Well, I wrote. I didn't publish anything until I was twenty three. By that time I was in graduate school in New York. And I had an amazing bit of early good luck. The first poem I ever sent out anywhere was to the Paris Review and they took it.
RB: Wow!
SH: But then I had rejections after that. It was the first time I thought to myself, "This is good. This is something I am proud of." And I am still proud of that poem. It was the right thing to do, but I held off for years for years of writing really abysmal poetry (laughs).
RB: Do you still write poetry?
SH: No, but what happened to me was during the course of writing this book of poetry I got stuck. One of the reasons I got stuck was I read a lot of poetry and it was so great. And when I wrote something on the page it just seemed bad. And so I got constipated and I had a friend who was a teacher and a poet, David Shapiro, who taught at Columbia then. And I asked him, "David, I don't know what to do, I can't squeak out anything." And he said, "When I have that problem I do automatic writing like the Surrealists. It doesn't matter what you say, just sit down and let it roll." And I did that and I wrote thirty pages in a single night. And then I spent the next three months editing those pages down to ten, and that was the first prose work I had ever done. It was a prose poem. It was not a real narrative. But there were narrative elements to it. And I never wrote anything in line after that.
RB: I read in a Publisher's Weekly Q and A that after your second novel you intended to write your next book with a male protagonist.
SH: I did.
RB: A curious choice of a character, a son of—do we consider Leo's parents Holocaust survivors?
SH: Well, I don't call them survivors. I think of people who were actually in the camps. His parents fled the Nazis. And that's how I think of that family. But he lost his grandmother and uncle and aunt and twin cousins. They all died in Auschwitz in the book.
RB: You have chosen an elderly…
SH: Jewish guy…
RB: Who is an art historian. I don't want to fall into the cliched line where I say, "You are a young woman, why are you writing as an elderly Jewish art historian?" But nonetheless you made some choices here. What was the starting point? The story, the character?
SH: This book has a very peculiar beginning. And a lot of my work does start in a very irrational way. I knew I was going to write it as a man. That was a technical difficulty that I decided on very consciously. What I didn't know was what the story was going to be about. I had this insistent mental image in my mind of a very fat lady lying on a bed in a room dead, a corpse. I don't know why or what this corpse was, but it kept coming back to me. I originally thought that perhaps my male narrator would open a door and find her and that would begin the story. But that took me nowhere (laughs).
RB: That doesn't show up in this book at all.
SH: Yes it does. In the painting. In the growing and shrinking of those initial paintings. That's how I ended up using her. But I honestly think that the themes of starving and eating and some of the themes of grief were initiated by that first image. So it started in a very irrational way and I'm not, of course, an entirely irrational writer, and I don't mean to propose that. At the same time it developed very slowly over the course of six years. A lot of the thematic material, the repetitive thematic material comes from places I am not entirely aware of. And then I realized when I was editing the book, finally, that the way I edited the book was when there were sections that did not reverberate or mirror other parts of the book I cut them. So it does function almost like an echo chamber.
RB: Some writers who don't live in New York will talk about how they think there is an inclination in the publishing world that leans toward a certain kind of book and they call it a New York book.
SH: Um huh.
RB: Most of this book takes place in Manhattan, in the art and academic world. What could be more New York? Do you see this as a New York book?
SH: Yeah, it is a New York book. And the setting is New York. The time period corresponds almost exactly to the time I have lived in New York. I arrived in New York in 1978 and this story begins in '75. So I fudged a few years of not actually having experienced that time. But the rest corresponds to my life in New York. When I took it on I wanted to address that subculture but also the culture at large in some way. Earlier you asked about Leo being this old Jew. I didn't want to have someone who was born in New York, and I wanted to have someone born outside the country because he does have the position of an observer in the book. He is a kind of exile, Leo. That was very important to the tone of the narration.
RB: He is not a religious Jew.
SH: He is a completely secular Jew and it is explained early on that his parents were also assimilated secular Jews…
RB: Who didn't want to leave Germany…
SH: Well, his uncle doesn't leave. I read a lot about those families and it's funny how you enter that world. I also have a Norwegian mother who lived through the Nazi occupation in Norway. I have always felt fairly close to a European sensibility because of that.
RB: That was something of a digression because I was thinking about the New York book issue because it is occasionally offered as a complaint that the publishing world is stacked against non-New York writers—that editors and reviewers are more disposed to look with interest on this kind of a story because it is one that they have some knowledge of.
SH: Well, it's possible. I have had both experiences. My second novel was The Enchantment of Lily Dahl, which was about a young woman in a tiny town. A fictional version of my hometown in Minnesota. That book got a lot of attention in the Midwest because it was a book set in a world that people knew there and I think maybe less attention in New York because it seemed provincial. Though I have to say that for me that book was a kind of psychic map. It certainly used the Midwest and used that tiny town, but it was not a local color story. The other thing is this is my third novel. I've been around a little bit now. You think about, for example, Southern writers, how important they have been to American literature. A lot of those books have been set in very specific small places, I am not sure it's true.
RB: It seems to me that Southern writers are still ghettoized and that only recently being called a Southern writer outside the South is not a term of disrespect. Other than William Faulkner…
… one of the great parts of being an American writer is that so much is going on here. It is exciting to the rest of the world too. When I am in Europe people are quite excited about American fiction and there is a sense that American writers are doing all kinds of different things—which they are.
SH: (laughs) Eudora Welty has a very big reputation. America is a big place and it takes in a lot and one of the great parts of being an American writer is that so much is going on here. It is exciting to the rest of the world too. When I am in Europe people are quite excited about American fiction and there is a sense that American writers are doing all kinds of different things—which they are. There is a plethora of different styles.
RB: Could it be that Europeans are more tuned in to American literature and trends than Americans are?
SH: Well certainly some Europeans, that's true. There is a very avid group of readers. It's not always the same. It's interesting about books that travel and books that don't travel. Sometimes books can do very well in the United States and not elsewhere. They're the mysteries both of publishing and of what speaks to people in one culture and might not speak to people in another.
RB: Here in the US we seem not pay attention to world literature.
SH: Yes, this is one great problem in the United States, that we do not import enough foreign writers. And when the Nobel Prize rolls around America is often embarrassed by not knowing who the writer is. Whereas in the rest of the world, these writers are very well known and read. One thing that American publishing needs to be taken to task for is not importing more writers from abroad.
RB: I recently read in a Toronto newspaper that there was a correlation between fewer books being reviewed and book sales.
SH: Fewer books are being reviewed. That's absolutely true. The book world is shrinking to some degree. In the United States there are fewer forums for reviewing books. Book pages are smaller. But maybe the Internet is compensating for all that. I do think that is a somewhat free-floating forum for commentary.
RB: I think you will be pleased and amazed when you see what is on the Internet.
SH: When you ride the subway in New York you do realize that people read. I am one of those subway riders who is leaning to one side and leaning to the other to find out what people are reading. And people read everything. From self-help business books to Charlette Bronte. Everything. I find that quite moving.
RB: Isn't it strange how it translates into commerce. For instance, besides Brian Lamb there is no regular television presence of literary fiction.
SH: When I was on tour in Germany, I did prime time German television. Now think about that. Eight o'clock in the evening, you are the main person on a television show.
RB: (laughs)
SH: Mostly, it was culture in general. Not only books but there are also book TV shows, regularly. And when you think that the most popular book show in France was Apostrophe with Bernal Pevot, it was the number one show for a long time. My husband was on it a couple of times…
RB: Take that, America…
SH: No, I am just saying .
RB: I am not making fun of you. That's my aside.
SH: It's just there's a different position of literature, and part of it is that there is a certain strain of anti-intellectualism in America.
RB: Certain?
SH: …and anti-culture. I am trying to be diplomatic.
RB: Why are you trying to be diplomatic?
SH: I don't know, Just because I generally am. That's a partial explanation. I have always thought it was very interesting that in a country that was founded by intellectuals that this should be so widespread. And it is. There is an anti-culture, anti-intellectual presence in the whole ball of wax. That does makes itself felt.
RB: There are some characters that get away with being street intellectuals or blue collar philosophers. And they are celebrated in some odd ways…
SH: That's true.
RB: Studs Terkel has managed to gain acceptance. I remember there was a longshoreman, Eric Hoeffer.
SH: Yes, yes, yes, I think it's because if you cloak yourself in a kind of populism then it works or can work. You notice, for example, that the right-wing ideologues in this country now always brandish a kind of working class …and none of these guys are working-class guys. They all come out of eastern universities and often from very wealthy families. But in order to make it stick they pose in a way as regular guys (laughs).
RB: Those people aren't even ideologues. There is no coherent thesis being proffered. They seem to be loud-mouth namecallers offering argument by nomenclature.
SH: In the media—but behind the scenes there really is ideology at work.
RB: Who are the ideologues? William Kristol?
SH: William Kristol definitely. William Safire is an ideologue. These are people who are part of the libertarian right.
RB: Well, Safire is not a namecaller…
SH: No he's not…
RB: He's rather avuncular and unlike most so-called conservatives in that he has a sense of humor.
SH: Absolutely. I wasn't saying that. We had moved from name calling to ideology. He is some one who absolutely believes a pretty elaborately formed, thought-through ideology. It's not one I share, but that doesn't mean that I don't recognize the intellectual foundations of it. Anyway, speaking of journalists in this book there is [the character Henry] Haaseborg.
RB: Intelligent but embittered.
SH: And cruel.
RB: Also nasty.
SH: Yes, but I think that happens. Also the way Bill's work (William Wechsler, one of the main characters in the book, is an artist) is treated by journalists in the novel is, it's noted that European journalists are appreciative of the material. And that a lot of the Americans are annoyed by the fact that he seems to be posing as not a regular guy.
RB: And they are compelled to think about his work.
SH: Right, he is not a sound bite.
RB: There is a good deal of social cultural critique here.
SH: Yes, there is. (laughs)
RB: Henry Hasseborg reminds me of this list of 50 loathsome New Yorkers that one of those snarky Manhattan magazines published. So, I thought the text was clever and funny but what was the point?
SH: There is a lot of spite, and fame creates spite, and there is a little passage in the book that says that, "No matter how small that fame may be, whether it's on the school yard, in the board room or in the culture at large, people make sport of taking others down." That is an ugliness about human nature.
RB: It's not about New York?
SH: New York may be worse because it's a bit of a hot house. Of course, New Yorkers do feel that they live in the center of the universe.
RB: I wasn't unhappy that the editor of Maxim was the number one person on the list. Or that Henry Kissinger was on that list.
SH: (Laughs)
RB: What's it like to be in a two-writer family?
SH: Paul [Auster] and I met twenty-one years ago and we were both completely unknowns. He was then writing The Invention of Solitude, the second part. He had finished the first part when we met. And I was continuing to write poems and beginning to work on my dissertation. So we've shared his whole prose career. He had written poems and essays before that. His whole prose career really corresponds with our marriage. And I suffered through the 17 rejections that City of Glass got from New York publishers —a book which, just to brag, is now in 40 languages…
RB: Only seventeen rejections?
This is one great problem in the United States, that we do not import enough foreign writers. And when the Nobel Prize rolls around America is often embarrassed by not knowing who the writer is.
RB: Could it be that Europeans are more tuned in to American literature and trends than Americans are?
SH: Well certainly some Europeans, that's true. There is a very avid group of readers. It's not always the same. It's interesting about books that travel and books that don't travel. Sometimes books can do very well in the United States and not elsewhere. They're the mysteries both of publishing and of what speaks to people in one culture and might not speak to people in another.
RB: Here in the US we seem not pay attention to world literature.
SH: Yes, this is one great problem in the United States, that we do not import enough foreign writers. And when the Nobel Prize rolls around America is often embarrassed by not knowing who the writer is. Whereas in the rest of the world, these writers are very well known and read. One thing that American publishing needs to be taken to task for is not importing more writers from abroad.
RB: I recently read in a Toronto newspaper that there was a correlation between fewer books being reviewed and book sales.
SH: Fewer books are being reviewed. That's absolutely true. The book world is shrinking to some degree. In the United States there are fewer forums for reviewing books. Book pages are smaller. But maybe the Internet is compensating for all that. I do think that is a somewhat free-floating forum for commentary.
RB: I think you will be pleased and amazed when you see what is on the Internet.
SH: When you ride the subway in New York you do realize that people read. I am one of those subway riders who is leaning to one side and leaning to the other to find out what people are reading. And people read everything. From self-help business books to Charlette Bronte. Everything. I find that quite moving.
RB: Isn't it strange how it translates into commerce. For instance, besides Brian Lamb there is no regular television presence of literary fiction.
SH: When I was on tour in Germany, I did prime time German television. Now think about that. Eight o'clock in the evening, you are the main person on a television show.
RB: (laughs)
SH: Mostly, it was culture in general. Not only books but there are also book TV shows, regularly. And when you think that the most popular book show in France was Apostrophe with Bernal Pevot, it was the number one show for a long time. My husband was on it a couple of times…
RB: Take that, America…
SH: No, I am just saying .
RB: I am not making fun of you. That's my aside.
SH: It's just there's a different position of literature, and part of it is that there is a certain strain of anti-intellectualism in America.
RB: Certain?
SH: …and anti-culture. I am trying to be diplomatic.
RB: Why are you trying to be diplomatic?
SH: I don't know, Just because I generally am. That's a partial explanation. I have always thought it was very interesting that in a country that was founded by intellectuals that this should be so widespread. And it is. There is an anti-culture, anti-intellectual presence in the whole ball of wax. That does makes itself felt.
RB: There are some characters that get away with being street intellectuals or blue collar philosophers. And they are celebrated in some odd ways…
SH: That's true.
RB: Studs Terkel has managed to gain acceptance. I remember there was a longshoreman, Eric Hoeffer.
SH: Yes, yes, yes, I think it's because if you cloak yourself in a kind of populism then it works or can work. You notice, for example, that the right-wing ideologues in this country now always brandish a kind of working class …and none of these guys are working-class guys. They all come out of eastern universities and often from very wealthy families. But in order to make it stick they pose in a way as regular guys (laughs).
RB: Those people aren't even ideologues. There is no coherent thesis being proffered. They seem to be loud-mouth namecallers offering argument by nomenclature.
SH: In the media—but behind the scenes there really is ideology at work.
RB: Who are the ideologues? William Kristol?
SH: William Kristol definitely. William Safire is an ideologue. These are people who are part of the libertarian right.
RB: Well, Safire is not a namecaller…
SH: No he's not…
RB: He's rather avuncular and unlike most so-called conservatives in that he has a sense of humor.
SH: Absolutely. I wasn't saying that. We had moved from name calling to ideology. He is some one who absolutely believes a pretty elaborately formed, thought-through ideology. It's not one I share, but that doesn't mean that I don't recognize the intellectual foundations of it. Anyway, speaking of journalists in this book there is [the character Henry] Haaseborg.
RB: Intelligent but embittered.
SH: And cruel.
RB: Also nasty.
SH: Yes, but I think that happens. Also the way Bill's work (William Wechsler, one of the main characters in the book, is an artist) is treated by journalists in the novel is, it's noted that European journalists are appreciative of the material. And that a lot of the Americans are annoyed by the fact that he seems to be posing as not a regular guy.
RB: And they are compelled to think about his work.
SH: Right, he is not a sound bite.
RB: There is a good deal of social cultural critique here.
SH: Yes, there is. (laughs)
RB: Henry Hasseborg reminds me of this list of 50 loathsome New Yorkers that one of those snarky Manhattan magazines published. So, I thought the text was clever and funny but what was the point?
SH: There is a lot of spite, and fame creates spite, and there is a little passage in the book that says that, "No matter how small that fame may be, whether it's on the school yard, in the board room or in the culture at large, people make sport of taking others down." That is an ugliness about human nature.
RB: It's not about New York?
SH: New York may be worse because it's a bit of a hot house. Of course, New Yorkers do feel that they live in the center of the universe.
RB: I wasn't unhappy that the editor of Maxim was the number one person on the list. Or that Henry Kissinger was on that list.
SH: (Laughs)
RB: What's it like to be in a two-writer family?
SH: Paul [Auster] and I met twenty-one years ago and we were both completely unknowns. He was then writing The Invention of Solitude, the second part. He had finished the first part when we met. And I was continuing to write poems and beginning to work on my dissertation. So we've shared his whole prose career. He had written poems and essays before that. His whole prose career really corresponds with our marriage. And I suffered through the 17 rejections that City of Glass got from New York publishers —a book which, just to brag, is now in 40 languages…
RB: Only seventeen rejections?
This is one great problem in the United States, that we do not import enough foreign writers. And when the Nobel Prize rolls around America is often embarrassed by not knowing who the writer is.
SH: Yeah, only seventeen. That's the kind of rejection, when you have written a book like that you, in your heart—Paul knew what the book was. I knew what it was after having read it. That was bitter. And it's fortunate, of course, that that story reversed itself. But I think people have a tendency to forget that they suffered. (laughs heartily)
RB: Are you saying that both of you went through this apprenticeship at the same time?
SH: He is eight years older than I am. So I was behind him, and I am also a much slower writer. It took me four years to write each of the first two books. And six to write the third. Paul has kept up with a steady pace of publishing— just about every two years. And he is just at the very, very end of another book.
RB: And he does other things, also.
SH: He's done movies. He's very prolific. But I think because we in some sense have shared the ups and downs of literary life together for so many years that it's almost like breathing.
RB: I wasn't thinking of the…
SH: You want the logistics?
RB: If you work off something of the stereotype that writing is a solitary occupation and that there is not always a connection to the real world or that your connection ebbs and flows, when two people occupy that universe in one household, that's what I wonder about.
SH: We both work every weekday. Sometimes Paul works on the weekend. And I work from about eight thirty until about three and then stop and rush out and buy dinner and do yoga. Paul often takes a break for lunch and he goes back and works until five or six in the evening. So we are in that strange place of the book most of the day. I think it helps however because the fact that we are both doing that is helpful in understanding what a strange business it is to do it. And I also am very attached to domestic life and we have a daughter who is fifteen and is still at home and going to school. I immerse myself very deeply in the practical aspects of life as well. Usually I forget about the book until I am going to sleep at night and then I listen to the characters talk to me. Or just talk in my head. Often those conversations don't appear in the text.
RB: You are conscious of these conversations? They aren't dream conversations?
SH: They are conscious—I suppose in some way what you are doing is manufacturing these dialogues. They don't (chuckles) feel like that, it's like you are just listening to them.
RB: Do you and Paul read each other?
SH: We do, but it functions in a different way. Paul reads to me about every two weeks. Aloud. When he has finished a section he will come and read it to me and ask what I think. I have to say most of the time I am for it. But it does happen that I think he has jumped off the deep end. And I don't think there has ever been a moment when he hasn't taken my advice. With me, however, it takes me a long time to produce a draft and with this book he read four different drafts over the course of the six years. It could be a couple of years between him seeing the book. But then what he said was very important to me.
RB: How large were these four drafts?
SH: Well (chuckles) it grew and shrank. The penultimate draft was about a hundred and fifty pages longer than the end novel. But they also were written over from scratch, on a blank page. It was the same story, essentially, but I need the momentum of making new sentences, doing it all over.
RB: You aren't writing on a computer?
SH: I mean that I don't work over it. I just start on a blank screen. That's the correct term, a blank screen.
RB: How much of your lives are occupied with by publishing events and activities?
SH: For this book, including the European publishers, I have been doing interviews since September.
RB: Hmm. That’s over half of a year.
SH: I feel like I have been talking to the press eternally. But I decided for this book I would just—it's turned out that I haven't done everything I was asked to do. But I was going to do a lot and I have done a lot.
RB: So that's for the initial publication. What about when you are both writing books and living your lives, do you go to book-publishing parties and whatever?
SH: Only for friends and that's at night, so it doesn't interfere with the work. But we have a number of friends who are writers and we go to their parties and read their books.
RB: And you have non-writer friends?
SH: Yes, we do. We also have friends who are not writers (laughs). We do not live in a literary bubble. Plus, I have three sisters that I am very close to— two that live in New York. My youngest sister is an architect. The number three sister is given an acknowledgement at the end of the book. She is the one who is currently writing a book about hysteria. And my number two sister lives in Minnesota and she is a businesswoman. So their worlds are deeply a part of mine.
RB: Could your family leave New York?
SH: Not now. I wouldn't want to leave New York now. I love New York. Also, after September 11th, in some way, the romance that I have had with the city for many years was only made stronger.
RB: Let's talk a little more about What I Loved. Leo is the main focus, the other three characters of the two couples and the children are also well developed and are quite complicated. This a large ensemble. Actually, the three women are very complicated.
SH: Yeah, they are all pretty complicated and I think, for me as it took a long to write—the characters did grow. One of the earlier drafts I thought Erica [Leo's wife] was given short shrift and she developed more over time. It's as if they are real to me.
RB: How does this novel feel against your first two?
SH: Well, it's more ambitious. It's a larger book and takes on bigger seams of ordinary human feeling.
RB: What is that?
SH: In The Blindfold I explore—it came out of a little experience that I had—I left that experience with a feeling of the uncanny. And that book tried to treat some of the ambiguities of that feeling. So it was quite specific. That is not love, loss, grief. That is some very specific avenue of human experience that fascinated me. Also power relations in that book were very important and the experience of being feminine and vulnerable and the second book was sort of an allegory of psychic life, in a way, played out in this small town. But again, the mysteries were not about family, being a parent, being a child. It's broader, bigger meatier seam, in some way. I chose to take it on. I think there are writers who develop more quickly than I do. But just wasn't able to take on that material until I was in my forties.
RB: Is this book all you wanted it to be?
SH: Uh, when I finished the book I thought to myself, "I've done it." I remember thinking that if Paul doesn't like it I'm just going to kill myself (laughs). Not really. But I also felt like lying down on the floor and weeping for four days. I did not do that, but that's how I felt. Because I really pressed myself to the limit in the sense that I—in terms of my own ambitions, I feel that I did do it.
RB: What are reading from on your tour?
SH: I mostly read from the early part of the book. Although I was in Iowa City at Prairie Lights and I read the Iowa City part of the book. (laughs) I couldn't resist. The part where Leo had a moment of Jewish paranoia and he feels like "a gaunt Jew in a sea of overfed Gentiles." People did not find that as funny as I find it. Of course, I come from that part of the Midwest. Iowa and Minnesota are very closely linked.
RB: I come from the Midwest. I know the geography.
SH: (laughs) I live in New York and I am married to a Jew but I have this double perspective. (laughs)
RB: Prairie Lights— were there lots of writers at that reading?
SH: I have been very pleased to have a number of doctors and psychoanalysts and scientists show up at my readings. This pleases me beyond belief, I have to say. There does seem to be subsection of my readers who are professional people.
RB: Your acknowledgments indicate your attention to the scientific literature on some of the issues that are in the novel.
SH: I was deeply happy to get a beautiful letter from a cellular biologist in Cambridge, England who was really very moved by the book and tried to explain a little of what they are doing there. The questions that the book brings up about why we become who we are is a question that is asked in a number of fields, not only philosophers ask this question but certainly a number of scientists. He mentioned the fact that a lot of this neurological cellular research is connected to [Martin] Charcot discoveries of a long, long time ago. And he was looking for lesions of the brain that would explain things. And, of course in hysteria there are no lesions and that jumped started Freud, really. Freud visited Charcot. This scientist did say that they know a great deal about organic illnesses but the psychoses remain very mysterious. I found that out when I did research on personality disorders. It's very hard to track and it's very hard to find organic reasons for them. Or for many of them.
RB: Which is why psychopharmacology seems so hit or miss.
So we are in that strange place of the book most of the day. I think it helps, however, because the fact that we are both doing that is helpful in understanding what a strange business it is to do it.
RB: Are you saying that both of you went through this apprenticeship at the same time?
SH: He is eight years older than I am. So I was behind him, and I am also a much slower writer. It took me four years to write each of the first two books. And six to write the third. Paul has kept up with a steady pace of publishing— just about every two years. And he is just at the very, very end of another book.
RB: And he does other things, also.
SH: He's done movies. He's very prolific. But I think because we in some sense have shared the ups and downs of literary life together for so many years that it's almost like breathing.
RB: I wasn't thinking of the…
SH: You want the logistics?
RB: If you work off something of the stereotype that writing is a solitary occupation and that there is not always a connection to the real world or that your connection ebbs and flows, when two people occupy that universe in one household, that's what I wonder about.
SH: We both work every weekday. Sometimes Paul works on the weekend. And I work from about eight thirty until about three and then stop and rush out and buy dinner and do yoga. Paul often takes a break for lunch and he goes back and works until five or six in the evening. So we are in that strange place of the book most of the day. I think it helps however because the fact that we are both doing that is helpful in understanding what a strange business it is to do it. And I also am very attached to domestic life and we have a daughter who is fifteen and is still at home and going to school. I immerse myself very deeply in the practical aspects of life as well. Usually I forget about the book until I am going to sleep at night and then I listen to the characters talk to me. Or just talk in my head. Often those conversations don't appear in the text.
RB: You are conscious of these conversations? They aren't dream conversations?
SH: They are conscious—I suppose in some way what you are doing is manufacturing these dialogues. They don't (chuckles) feel like that, it's like you are just listening to them.
RB: Do you and Paul read each other?
SH: We do, but it functions in a different way. Paul reads to me about every two weeks. Aloud. When he has finished a section he will come and read it to me and ask what I think. I have to say most of the time I am for it. But it does happen that I think he has jumped off the deep end. And I don't think there has ever been a moment when he hasn't taken my advice. With me, however, it takes me a long time to produce a draft and with this book he read four different drafts over the course of the six years. It could be a couple of years between him seeing the book. But then what he said was very important to me.
RB: How large were these four drafts?
SH: Well (chuckles) it grew and shrank. The penultimate draft was about a hundred and fifty pages longer than the end novel. But they also were written over from scratch, on a blank page. It was the same story, essentially, but I need the momentum of making new sentences, doing it all over.
RB: You aren't writing on a computer?
SH: I mean that I don't work over it. I just start on a blank screen. That's the correct term, a blank screen.
RB: How much of your lives are occupied with by publishing events and activities?
SH: For this book, including the European publishers, I have been doing interviews since September.
RB: Hmm. That’s over half of a year.
SH: I feel like I have been talking to the press eternally. But I decided for this book I would just—it's turned out that I haven't done everything I was asked to do. But I was going to do a lot and I have done a lot.
RB: So that's for the initial publication. What about when you are both writing books and living your lives, do you go to book-publishing parties and whatever?
SH: Only for friends and that's at night, so it doesn't interfere with the work. But we have a number of friends who are writers and we go to their parties and read their books.
RB: And you have non-writer friends?
SH: Yes, we do. We also have friends who are not writers (laughs). We do not live in a literary bubble. Plus, I have three sisters that I am very close to— two that live in New York. My youngest sister is an architect. The number three sister is given an acknowledgement at the end of the book. She is the one who is currently writing a book about hysteria. And my number two sister lives in Minnesota and she is a businesswoman. So their worlds are deeply a part of mine.
RB: Could your family leave New York?
SH: Not now. I wouldn't want to leave New York now. I love New York. Also, after September 11th, in some way, the romance that I have had with the city for many years was only made stronger.
RB: Let's talk a little more about What I Loved. Leo is the main focus, the other three characters of the two couples and the children are also well developed and are quite complicated. This a large ensemble. Actually, the three women are very complicated.
SH: Yeah, they are all pretty complicated and I think, for me as it took a long to write—the characters did grow. One of the earlier drafts I thought Erica [Leo's wife] was given short shrift and she developed more over time. It's as if they are real to me.
RB: How does this novel feel against your first two?
SH: Well, it's more ambitious. It's a larger book and takes on bigger seams of ordinary human feeling.
RB: What is that?
SH: In The Blindfold I explore—it came out of a little experience that I had—I left that experience with a feeling of the uncanny. And that book tried to treat some of the ambiguities of that feeling. So it was quite specific. That is not love, loss, grief. That is some very specific avenue of human experience that fascinated me. Also power relations in that book were very important and the experience of being feminine and vulnerable and the second book was sort of an allegory of psychic life, in a way, played out in this small town. But again, the mysteries were not about family, being a parent, being a child. It's broader, bigger meatier seam, in some way. I chose to take it on. I think there are writers who develop more quickly than I do. But just wasn't able to take on that material until I was in my forties.
RB: Is this book all you wanted it to be?
SH: Uh, when I finished the book I thought to myself, "I've done it." I remember thinking that if Paul doesn't like it I'm just going to kill myself (laughs). Not really. But I also felt like lying down on the floor and weeping for four days. I did not do that, but that's how I felt. Because I really pressed myself to the limit in the sense that I—in terms of my own ambitions, I feel that I did do it.
RB: What are reading from on your tour?
SH: I mostly read from the early part of the book. Although I was in Iowa City at Prairie Lights and I read the Iowa City part of the book. (laughs) I couldn't resist. The part where Leo had a moment of Jewish paranoia and he feels like "a gaunt Jew in a sea of overfed Gentiles." People did not find that as funny as I find it. Of course, I come from that part of the Midwest. Iowa and Minnesota are very closely linked.
RB: I come from the Midwest. I know the geography.
SH: (laughs) I live in New York and I am married to a Jew but I have this double perspective. (laughs)
RB: Prairie Lights— were there lots of writers at that reading?
SH: I have been very pleased to have a number of doctors and psychoanalysts and scientists show up at my readings. This pleases me beyond belief, I have to say. There does seem to be subsection of my readers who are professional people.
RB: Your acknowledgments indicate your attention to the scientific literature on some of the issues that are in the novel.
SH: I was deeply happy to get a beautiful letter from a cellular biologist in Cambridge, England who was really very moved by the book and tried to explain a little of what they are doing there. The questions that the book brings up about why we become who we are is a question that is asked in a number of fields, not only philosophers ask this question but certainly a number of scientists. He mentioned the fact that a lot of this neurological cellular research is connected to [Martin] Charcot discoveries of a long, long time ago. And he was looking for lesions of the brain that would explain things. And, of course in hysteria there are no lesions and that jumped started Freud, really. Freud visited Charcot. This scientist did say that they know a great deal about organic illnesses but the psychoses remain very mysterious. I found that out when I did research on personality disorders. It's very hard to track and it's very hard to find organic reasons for them. Or for many of them.
RB: Which is why psychopharmacology seems so hit or miss.
So we are in that strange place of the book most of the day. I think it helps, however, because the fact that we are both doing that is helpful in understanding what a strange business it is to do it.
SH: Yes it's a strange business. Often what happens, as we all know, when people are doing research for something else or curing someone for something else they realize that medication clears up their skin or takes away headaches and that they start using it for that reason. It's not because they have gone way back to beginning and found the original problem.
RB: So, what's next?
SH: (laughs) I have a title and many thoughts about a new book called The Sorrows of an American. I am finally going to treat something that is so very deep to me, which is immigration.
RB: That's a working title?
SH: I know that's the title.
RB: So in six…
SH: Yeah in six or ten years we may talk again. (laughs) Paul said,
"This doesn't sound like a small book." I said, "No, I don't think it is a small book."
RB: Is that the way you start, with a title?
SH: No sometimes it comes to me and other times I have been working for a couple of years before I know what the title is. I have a feeling this title is really going to stick. I am also finishing a book of essays on painting. So I do other writing as well, a collection of essays on different painters. I am finishing an essay on Goya..
RB: Goya figures in this What I Loved.
SH: Yea.
RB: Well, thank you very much.
SH: Thank you for having me.
RB: My pleasure.
RB: So, what's next?
SH: (laughs) I have a title and many thoughts about a new book called The Sorrows of an American. I am finally going to treat something that is so very deep to me, which is immigration.
RB: That's a working title?
SH: I know that's the title.
RB: So in six…
SH: Yeah in six or ten years we may talk again. (laughs) Paul said,
"This doesn't sound like a small book." I said, "No, I don't think it is a small book."
RB: Is that the way you start, with a title?
SH: No sometimes it comes to me and other times I have been working for a couple of years before I know what the title is. I have a feeling this title is really going to stick. I am also finishing a book of essays on painting. So I do other writing as well, a collection of essays on different painters. I am finishing an essay on Goya..
RB: Goya figures in this What I Loved.
SH: Yea.
RB: Well, thank you very much.
SH: Thank you for having me.
RB: My pleasure.
Posted: May 6, 2003 © 2003 Robert Birnbaum






























































